The Sacraments as Means of Grace part 3: Marriage

The Wesleyan Church recognizes two sacraments, baptism and the Lord’s Supper. However, as I delved into our Anglican roots (John Wesley remained an Anglican priest until he died, despite founding the Methodist tradition), I found some acceptance of the other five, but they are “not counted as a sacrament of the gospel,” meaning not ordained by Jesus nor necessary for salvation, but still a part of Christian tradition. In fact, as I have looked at the remaining five sacraments/practices (please use whichever term that would cause you least offense) most churches practice them, sometimes by other names, even though they might not call them “sacraments.” Thus, I would hope we could at least agree that God can use these events as means of grace.

forehead kiss — Ah, back when I had hair.

When I met the woman who would become my wife, I found that she, having grown up in a household with a Roman Catholic father and Lutheran mother, had a different view of the sacraments, including whether or not they should be called “sacraments” or “ordinances,” than I did, as a person who grew up Baptist. When asked if marriage is a sacrament, my wife usually responds, “My marriage is a sacrament. I can’t speak for yours.” I agree with her, and by that I mean not just the ceremony, but our marriage. Having recently officiated a marriage, and gearing up for another, I stand in awe of the mystery of Christ and the Church, which human marriage reflects (Ephesians 5:32). Jesus compared the Kingdom of Heaven to a wedding feast (Matthew 22:2-14) and we look forward to the wedding supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:9). My marriage has certainly enhanced my relationship with God, and how I act toward my wife, how she acts toward me, and how we work together are all reflection of the spiritual reality of Christ and the Church.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church–for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:21-33