Category Archives: family

New Life Family Services – Investing in Life

On Friday, October 28, 2016, I had the privilege of emceeing the 2016 New Life Family Services Silent Auction and Fundraising Gala. New Life and Oakdale Wesleyan have been partners investing in the lives of people for more than twenty years. Personally, I appreciate New Life’s commitment to care for a person’s whole life: physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. An excerpt of what I shared follows.

I’ve been given the opportunity to share just a little bit about my own experience with New Life. Part of my story is written in tonight’s program, and you can read that on your own, so instead. I would like to tell you about the birth of my daughter.  At 11 pm at night, my wife told me her water broke. We went to the hospital and the OBGYN told me the projected order of events, which ended with him saying “after the baby is delivered, you cut the cord.” I quickly replied, “You are the doctor. You will cut the cord.” The doctor asked, “Are you sure?” and I said, “Yes.” I didn’t want to do anything that might hurt or kill my daughter, so I would let the trained medical professional take care of all the medical procedures, no matter how minor.

Twenty-six hours of labor later, my strong wife finally delivered our daughter, Sophia. The doctor held my daughter, clamped the umbilical cord, and prepared to cut. At that moment I stopped him and said, “I want to cut the cord.” He again asked me, “Are you sure?” and I said, “Yes.” In that moment I realized that after 1 ½ years of trying to get pregnant, 9 months of pregnancy, and now 26 hours of labor, I didn’t merely want to keep my daughter from dying; I was invested in her living, so I cut the cord.14612621_1292001560831738_343105203826678056_o

John the Baptist sent some of his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the Expected Savior, or do we look for someone else?” Jesus didn’t answer, “Tell John, I haven’t killed anyone,” even though he hadn’t. Neither did Jesus answer, “Tell John, I let children come to me,” even though Jesus did that. Jesus said to them, “Tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the poor have good news preached to them, and the dead are raised.” Jesus invests in life.

When I check in a woman for her appointment at First Care, I’m investing in her life. When I meet with a young man who thinks his girlfriend might be pregnant, I’m investing in his life. When I meet with a father who has come in to see the ultra sound, I’m investing in life. When I teach a parenting class to couples, whether we are talking potty training or sharing the gospel, I am investing in life. When my congregation individually or corporately partners with New Life, we are investing in life. Every time a client allows me to pray with them, I walk as Christ walked, not merely preventing death, but investing in life. That’s my story; you individually and as churches have one also.

Being Dad Part 3: The Peer Years

Being Dad coverOn Fathers Day 2014 I gave each of the dads in my church a copy of David Drury’s book Being Dad. If you have not yet received you copy, please see me. I will not give this book to your wife or children to pass along to you, as this is a gift from me to you. Although I’ve read the book already, I’m reading it again, along with any of you that have begun reading (I saw one dad reading right after church). There will be no spoilers of the book here, but I will post my reflections on the three major sections of the book: The Early Years, The Growth Years, and The Peer Years, with the hope that these posts will further encourage you to not only read the book, but to also become the best dad you can be.

The final section of the book is on the transition of relationship from son and dad to peers. I know my dad enjoys his new grandfather (papa) status with my daughter, but we also enjoy our new relationship, which he initiated. Continue reading Being Dad Part 3: The Peer Years

Being Dad Part 2: The Growth Years

Being Dad coverOn Fathers Day 2014 I gave each of the dads in my church a copy of David Drury’s book Being Dad. If you have not yet received you copy, please see me. I will not give this book to your wife or children to pass along to you, as this is a gift from me to you. Although I’ve read the book already, I’m reading it again, along with any of you that have begun reading (I saw one dad reading right after church). There will be no spoilers of the book here, but I will post my reflections on the three major sections of the book: The Early Years, The Growth Years, and The Peer Years, with the hope that these posts will further encourage you to not only read the book, but to also become the best dad you can be.

origin_5592994934The second section of the book provided many stories of leaving a legacy through lessons. And while David and I are close in age, I found some of our experiences divergent. While both our families value education, I think each of our dads imparted that legacy from a difference social and cultural background. Continue reading Being Dad Part 2: The Growth Years

Being Dad Part 1: The Early Years

Being Dad coverOn Fathers Day 2014 I gave each of the dads in my church a copy of David Drury’s book Being Dad. If you have not yet received you copy, please see me. I will not give this book to your wife or children to pass along to you, as this is a gift from me to you. Although I’ve read the book already, I’m reading it again, along with any of you that have begun reading (I saw one dad reading right after church). There will be no spoilers of the book here, but I will post my reflections on the three major sections of the book: The Early Years, The Growth Years, and The Peer Years, with the hope that these posts will further encourage you to not only read the book, but to also become the best dad you can be.

bike trailerWhen I ride my bike, I can’t coast all the time, and, honestly, I do like to pedal, as it makes me stronger and gets me to my destination faster. But sometimes it’s nice, or even necessary, to coast. When I’m pulling my daughter in the bike trailer, I might switch to an easier gear, but rarely get to coast. That’s being dad, intentional work. Continue reading Being Dad Part 1: The Early Years

Petitions, Prayers, and Personal Refrigerators

Just before Palm Sunday, I took a 1.7 cubic feet refrigerator from my basement, where we keep it for guests, over to the church. As the church planned to offer communion every day from Palm Sunday through Easter, on a drop in bases most days, I thought having a small refrigerator up on stage to hold the elements would be handy.

IMAG0354 smallMy daughter often  comes over to the church with me when I practice music; she enjoys dancing while I play and sing, and she noticed the refrigerator on the stage. “What’s that?” she asked. I told her it was a refrigerator, to which she she replied, “I wish I had my own refrigerator.” I thought she made a bit of an absurd wish. What does a three-year-old need with their own refrigerator? I let her know that was not something she needed. Yet like the widow of Luke 18:1-8, she persisted. Continue reading Petitions, Prayers, and Personal Refrigerators

A Baby in My Tummy

Anyone else out there have daughters? My daughter, Sophia, is a month away from being 3-years-old. Here was our conversation yesterday, and I should let you know we have three pregnant ladies in our church right now.

IMG_2428Sophia: I have a baby in my tummy.
Dad: You don’t have a baby in your tummy.
Sophia: Yes I do have a baby in my tummy.
Dad [thinking fast]: Only mommies can have babies in their tummies. When you get bigger, and marry a daddy, then you can have a baby in your tummy.
Sophia: Okay.
Dad: [Whew] Continue reading A Baby in My Tummy

The Broken American Family

I am becoming convinced that there is a systemic dichotomy in African-American family culture. First, let me state that when I refer to “African-Americans” I am specifically referring to those of us who are descendants of the North American slave population, not all dark-skinned North-Americans nor modern immigrants from African countries. Here is the dichotomy: African-Americans highly value family relationships, yet we have adapted to a culture that systemically breaks our families apart. Continue reading The Broken American Family

Communal and Individualistic Spirituality

Jason L. has another great post over at Ascending Mount Carmel, this time writing on his transition from a private to communal spirituality.

. . . I think that really the communal side of spirituality and the individualistic side of it are really just two aspects of one kind of spirituality.  Not everyone is called to be a living flame in the desert like St. Macarius or St. Anthony of Egypt; nor is everyone called to be a saint “in the world” like St. Frances Xavier Cabrini or St. Thomas More – but we are called to have a spiritual life, and this can include elements of both sides of the coin. Continue reading Communal and Individualistic Spirituality

The Best and Worst of Youth Pastoring

Looking back on my youth ministry, I brought some of the best and worst ministry to the parents of my students (That was the best I had at the time). Like many youth pastors, I was a single Bible college student. Relationally, what I brought to the families was myself as an eldest sibling. With me, the parents had someone with whom they could trust their teens, to fortify the teachings they were giving their children, and perhaps a role model for the next steps of their teens’ lives. Continue reading The Best and Worst of Youth Pastoring